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| How to Break Your Addiction to a Person |
An addictive relationship is characterized by the need to continue with the person despite the obvious negative consequences or "retain" them. This can happen in romantic relationships and friendships. In these relationships, you may feel as if you are giving everything you have to this person while getting little in return fulfillment. If you are struggling with a cluttered attachment, you can begin to analyze what is going on in the relationship, and then some steps to break this obsessive conditioning.
Part 1
The analysis of an addictive relationship
1. Make a list. Write a column for the positive things you want from the relationship, and another column to list the negative things about the relationship. Go deeper into your life to determine if the connections are socially, mentally, emotionally or professionally healthy. Here are some aspects of healthy relationships for you to consider:
Open and honest communication. The two men feel able to express their feelings and opinions without fear of being harmed or reduced to them. Both people use a friendly, friendly language to express their feelings and to use any language of shame or guilt. Both men make no excuse for their actions. Both men recognize the validity of other emotions.
Equity and negotiation. Both people are willing to negotiate and commit to finding common solutions. No person is ever on or giving up. Both men try to see the situation from the perspective of the other. No person is "winning" at the expense of the other.
Shared responsibility and power. No one makes all the decisions. If a person makes decisions usually, it is because both people are happy with it.
Respect. Both people feel valued for their own unique. Both men are satisfied with each other. Although angry or injured two people retain respect and use of any harmful or abusive language or actions.
Trust and support. Both men lean against each other. You want the best for the other person. Both people feel they can trust each other. Both feel secure to share their feelings, desires and needs without fear of judgment.
Privacy. This can be physical affection. You can also respect the limits of the other person or privacy. Truly, intimate relationships do not try to control the behavior of a person or a monitor.
Personal integrity. Both people have a self-image of their relationship. Both have a sense of independence and maintain their own values, tastes and beliefs. Both partners take responsibility for their words and actions.
2. Looking back on past relationships. Many people are addicted to people who have suffered from inadequate family relationships. Often these family members were not trusted or did not provide basic needs like food, shelter or emotional support.
If the person to whom you are addicted, reminiscent of a former family member or otherwise, you can try to compensate for an earlier failed relationship through this current relationship. You have separate feelings from the two different relationships to continue.
A sign signing a dependent person code attracts people who are unstable. Maybe you always make friends or start relationships with people who are emotionally inaccessible. Examine to see if this is true for you previous relationships.
3. Maintain a relationship protocol. I know regularly about how the relationship makes you feel and what behaviors, hopes and fantasies you harbor. By writing about an everyday relationship can help you avoid overlooking bad times and specify the relationship is always good.
4. Be aware of your communication and interaction styles. In addictive relationships, the couple is usually not risky to discuss issues and often to glassy certain problems with half-truths capable. If you notice that you and your partner rarely really have intimate conversations about your personal fears or dreams, you may be in an addictive relationship.
Healthy relationships involve intimacy, go to conversations below the surface in areas you would not normally share with the public. These attachments include Give and receive by both partners and the mutual benefit of the investment.
Ill-affiliated relationships and general dependent code stay above the surface and have few full conversations. Maybe you are always like this, like you can be happy about the other person, but inside you feel sad or confused. You can only feel relaxed and happy if the other person feels as always. They fear what would happen if he told his lover or friend how he really feels.
5. Accept that a relationship is not healthy when you see evidence of coercion, control, or abuse. If your relationship has led others to lose their own identity, to lose other relationships and feel like they could not function without the other person, they are symptoms of an addictive relationship. You have to get out of this relationship before the situation gets worse.
Signs of an obsessive relationship can delusional trends in which your partner or friend exaggerates all your interactions with others. This person can think a smile with a stranger means something more. You can check your phone or email to make sure your relationship with you is a priority.
A controlling partner can make you feel as if you have lost your individuality. This person can go through the Guilt Trip time to the point that you spend very little time with family or friends of others.
Most people think that an abusive relationship can be tantamount to physical violence. In fact, compulsion and control behavior can borrow to emotional abuse. If your partner or friend are isolated from others, it is obsessions, that trying to tell you what to do, or drag down to maintain a position of authority over you, you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.
part 2
Break a disordered attachment
1. Determine what are the parts of your addictive fantasy relationship and what is reality. In these types of relationships, it is common to see your partner through pink lenses. We have a tendency to keep fantasizing about how a man hopes that it will come true someday. We can also create fantasy stories about how we relate to other people.
Accept the reality about your partner. Instead of saying, "It's not so bad, she bought me a necklace for my birthday," telling the truth about her partner: "She acts as if she was jealous of other people I hung up with so I was finally Hanging with her "or" she thinks I'm often to get to see my family, "if the relationship -. Platonic or romantic - with the result that you feel weak controls or, you have to admit to myself. Do not act like it's going well, just to keep the attachment.
Expansion (disappearance of things from relationship) and mitigation (things that are less important than they are) are common cognitive distortions, useless ways of thinking that we can slip covertly. If you keep looking at that look for excuses or "not so bad" abtreibst things you can use to justify your stay in the relationship of these distortions.
2. Break the physical connections you have with that person. Compounds can contain such things as project financing, housing or work. Understand that you have to give yourself extra time to break those connections. You also wonder if your addiction to relationships is based on the services that are available to you by going with this person. Change your bank account and start getting paychecks to the new account if you share money with this person.
Looking at renting a new place to live or temporarily if the unhealthy plant is a roommate.
Eliminate alcohol, drugs, food, sex, or other triggers that can entice you to remain in an addictive situation.
3. Plan the activities of positive people in your life. To counteract the negative energy and feedback you get into an addictive relationship, you will change them with the positive response from other sources. Expand the links now and surround yourself with flowering individuals who appreciate what you have to offer.
4. Set personal goals If you have even ignored because of a personal addiction, try to pick up a hobby by starting to train for a fitness event or to go for a promotion at work. When you start working on yourself, you can see how separated you have got into an addictive relationship significantly.
5. Make a list of your independent wishes. Begin each vignette with "I want ..." or "I want ..." so that you can separate personal desires from relationship needs. These requests range from the desire to visit Italy to get a new haircut or color. Concentrate only on you while breaking an addiction love.
part 3
Embrace your independence
1. Decide how you will treat the person when they sit in the future with you. Think of a plan or develop a script, what is your reaction when you meet that person. Remember: You should limit contact if the person reduces their self-esteem and feels small or unloved.
For example, if the person wants to talk on the phone, suggest a date and time, and then you go to a friend's house to support the call.
2. The withdrawal request symptoms. At the point of euphoria, excitement and enthusiasm that fear of experiencing doubt, loneliness and panic after an addictive relationship, dependent code dissolves. Physical symptoms can mimic substance abuse, as sleeping or eating is not possible, to experience seizures, tremors and nausea. These are normal parts of breaking a bonus that gave you positive emotions. The symptoms fade over time.
3. Face feelings of loneliness or depression. If you feel chronically depressed, seek the services of a professional consultant. The end of an addictive relationship can make you feel empty inside and make you believe that you should never love another person. An advisor will help you understand the importance of working on yourself and making sure you are healthy and complete.
Remember, feelings of worthlessness can not be sealed by relationships; You must resolve these feelings of love more and more to each other by a matter or another person. Dealing with your own self-esteem issues now before you start dating again.
4. Connect a support group that is based on Love or Addiction Codependenz. You may find the strength to deal with hearing the stories of triumph of others, the bonds have separated from an addictive relationship. In conjunction with a counselor for individualized therapy, attend meetings with another way to help you educate yourself in addictive relationships and learn to recognize unhealthy relationships in the future.
5. Take care of yourself. It can be easy to forget yourself when you are at the end of a relationship with a person who feels interested. Take extra time to eat and exercise regularly to get quality, and treat them with care. Self-care activities per week can also help you feel more like yourself and bring some structure to your newly discovered independence. Relax in a relaxing bubble bath, get your hair cut and combed, or visit the spa for a massage. Do not neglect it, because it feels bad.
6. Learn to set appropriate boundaries in relationships and friendship. Limits a stable healthy life are important to you. Many people mistakenly assume when they are very close to another person, when they meet for the first time, it is a sign of a perfect match. Remember, you must have a life beyond your friend / girlfriend or best friend.
The next time you find a new person, you're right about your needs and all the restrictions you want to set. In a healthy relationship, both parties should tell you how things work. Do not give your power to another candidate in the membership relationship.
Looking forward, always attentive and aware of your relationships / friendships have been complicated. Take things little by little with each new person that comes into your life. Always consider your needs and practice self-care.
Finally, they will continue to receive outside support from their adviser or a local group formation of support and encouragement to resemble new healthy bonds.
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