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| 10 Questions You Should Never Ask Your Partner |
Most articles on what you do not want to tell your partner to walk around a bit to avoid taboo subjects and avoid puncturing out of bounds. Although these tips are certainly helpful, there are deeper, cutting problems that are more important to avoid.
If all you do, control these 10 questions, your relationship will be dramatically more satisfying and rewarding than the average.
1. "What's the matter? Why do you always do that?"
It is never a good idea, a negative judgment or a general condemnation of your partner to make. Everything you do amplifies the exact negative behavior you are trying to change because your judgments encourage them to isolate you.Instead of attacking your partner in person, you do not like sharing what you like and how you feel or feel when you do that. You may need introspective and creative to discover why certain things are important to you.
For example, let's say, they often leave the lid on the toothpaste. "What do you do? Why do you do that?" Instead of saying, you can say, "Honey, can you please more often the cap put on toothpaste? It may seem silly, but when it does, I really feel it. Worried about you. "
Then, next time when you are at the top, you feel the joy of the story, and let it make you happy. Go give them a big hug and a kiss. Tell them you know it is a small thing, but you really appreciate it. If your partner is estimated from you, they will want more and more than you would like to continue with the positive atmosphere between the two.
2. "Why do you never want to do it?"
Guilt is not attractive. It creates an atmosphere of hopelessness, resentment, mistrust, and separation in the relationship. Not only is it dangerous, it is also ineffective.When have you seen anyone who turns their life and personality because they felt worried enough? Sometimes people change because they feel bad and fall to the ground. At the moment they encounter the inner strength to bring them to a new way of life. Do not be the catalyst that collects your partner to the rock. There are other ways to create the same effect, which is more reliable and constructive.
Whenever you are upset with your partner, you focus first on taking responsibility for your own feelings, thoughts, and actions. Take possession of your part of the equation. Instead of life, whatever you think your partner is doing wrong, you can turn your focus as you might be able to improve the relationship.
Once you are more solution oriented and clear about the situation as a whole, please contact your partner with open, transparent communication and a collaborative attitude so that you can find a solution that makes you At the same time happy.
3. u. 4. "Why are you so (annoying, lazy, ungrateful and selfish)?" / "Why are not they (better boy)?"
If you are angry, you can not personally attack your partner. It does not only use you are with them, the whole package of them. They are with you the whole package of you. If we're together, you're playing a game on any level.If you want to improve the quality of your relationship, it starts with how you communicate. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, the author of the nonviolent communication, says that the most useful way to communicate with your partner, express honestly and receive sensitive is.
Frankly, the way they are and what they want to do without blame, criticism or demands. If your partner is talking to you, you focus on sensitive, as they are and what they want to hear without blame, criticism or demands.
This type of communication is based on transparency, honesty, and understanding that maintains the relationship. More information about Rosenberg's simple, non-violent four-way communication process.
5. "Why can not you just relax?"
If your partner is in a fight or flight, you can not "just relax" in the command. If they are stressed, they disturb nothing. Otherwise, you can relax.There are a variety of reasons why your partner might be excited, and although you want, of course, to relax more, say briefly in the heat of the moment, it is unlikely that the result will go away.
The best way to help them become more relaxed is to understand. First, you have to understand something before you can change it. Sometimes understanding is all that is needed.
If you are open, curious and gentle about what is really happening for your partner, that is a clarification and a useful step. Once you talk together in this kind of supportive environment, you are made for success.
6. "If it breaks with me?"
With this question in everyday conflicts is an unnecessary and emotionally destructive threat.As Eben Pagan and Annie Lalla said in 2014 at Burning Man Mystic's cottage, people often do not ask this question in order to gain authenticity but to accompany the conversation by introducing the imminent possibility of renewal itself.
If you really want to break right there, then you can put it like this and deal with it. Otherwise, you really ask to clarify issues of the other person. And when you feel too hot, then take a step back, as objectively as possible re-evaluate and discuss the matter again once the environment has calmed down.
Have calmed down a bit, "Honey, I'm afraid we're going to take a few minutes and came back once I've calmed down." As soon as you feel when you're really scared that your partner breaks up with you, you just have to say you may ask: "How he feels now?" Or "What do you want?" Or "What do you want in our relationship?"
If you ask these questions in a non-threatening way to give your space partner to think constructively about the answers. That, in your case, that your partner wants to break once done, will tell you. Otherwise, these questions can open up and gently strengthen the intimacy in your relationship.
7. "Are you sure you want to be with me?"
While it is important to health a relationship for each partner to praise the other and appreciate each partner is responsible for their own basic level of self-esteem and self-confidence.As a relationship coach Jordan Gray says the interest in his partner as a person and on a day to day level and reaffirms that finding them attractive is the key to a successful relationship.
At the same time, Dr. David Scharch, author of Passionate Marriage, points out that it is difficult for someone sexually attracted, you have to constantly trust. If you need constant validation at a basic level, it is difficult for you to admire your partner or respect.
The solution is to make sure that you want to be with you, and that you already find are themselves. If it feels good on your skin, it is much easier to have clarity of mind to judge if the person you are with is a great game for you and really appreciate you.
8. and 9. "Can I trust you?" / "Are you telling me the truth?"
I wonder if this point never asks a good idea. On the one hand, he is his immediate partner on the defensive. On the other hand, you can never trust the answer you get.This is because if you are not sure you can always trust someone, then ask them if they can go insane just trust.
When it comes to people who are jealous and possessive in relationships, says Mark Manson, model author, "It's very simple. Anyone who does not trust their partner or if they trust their partner, then close their mouths when you. Do not trust your partner, then do yourself a favor and ver scheme them.
"Well, what if I trust them, but I brought them anyway?" Then trust that you will find out one day. Dishonest people can not hide their dishonesty forever. Eventually, it will be superficial and obvious. And on this day reject. "Something difficult, but definitely easy.
10. "If I knew it would make me uncomfortable, why did you put it on?"
A quality relation is not compromised with avoidance pseudo-comfort. It nurtures the true comfort of two people who are transparent to each other and yes in order to deepen in the intimacy and the realization.Blossoming your relationship, you have to be willing to talk about difficult and unpleasant things and to comfort yourself when the subject feels at hand.
As Dr. David Schnarch suggests, we have to fulfill an emotionally committed relationship, be ready to calm down independently within the relationship.
It is difficult to calm them and to cope with themselves. That is sure. This means that to deal with the parts of us we can not see as much as our own fears, anxieties, and uncertainties.
It is both rewarding and challenging.
A look at what is really happening with openness and curiosity means an ever-better relationship and a better life.
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