7 ways to have a social life as a single mother

7 ways to have a social life as a single mother

It is possible to have a social life as a single mother. Many women have walked the same path successfully and benefiting themselves and the children. If you feel a lack of a social life due to time constraints, expectations of others, or just afraid of the unknown, you can overcome these problems, as it is proposed to discover a social life for themselves.

STEPS

1. Start to see social life as relevant to you. This includes thoughts banishing that your desire to have some time for yourself that is selfish, irresponsible or disloyal. It is both normal and healthy, socializing with others and pursuing interests that you enjoy and your desire to take a little time to enjoy and without the children in tow is perfectly reasonable. If you do not feel confident, think about the benefits, such as feeling more energy to take your unique training with renewed strength again, with time discovering things about yourself that you had forgotten and rediscovering The long-lost social ties. All the work and education of children are not a balanced life; Your life and your role as a mother will benefit from the inclusion of social time for you.
Be very careful when using the excuse that you would be all the time with your children rather you than having someone time. You may have convinced themselves that this is the way for you of necessity, but it is not healthy for your children, to have you as the main support and source of friendship in their lives. You will also benefit from being with other people, sometimes in their non-academic time. And you will learn to socialize again with adults!
Do you know someone who said this in you need time for yourself or - God forbid - to meet new men that you are totally selfish not to first used the children? You do? Remove their name from your contact list! If they are family, and not bend to them - say you make a responsible choice and that makes your immediate family happy. You can give up negative judgments, oppression, which are based on the ideas of others.

2. Imagine the front of logistics. Many single mothers feel it's too hard, social time to organize because it just relies on others. Given the fact that single mothers tend to take everything on their own shoulders, asking for help with "total needs" may feel as if you are pushing the limits. However, it is important to accept that the need for others to cultivate help for your children while you spend a little time enjoying is a good thing. It does not reflect on you, not yet, it indicates that you can not be alone finished. There are always people who are willing to help, provided you are willing to ask - do not be afraid to ask for help when you need a break. Practical approaches you can take:
You work who can take care of your children while you are. If you have family or friends you can rely on? Your neighbors are a good choice? Are there other mothers, you know? If appropriate to your situation, children can spend time with their father.
If not, consider professional babysitting services. You can trade and worry about the cost of peace of mind to impose on anyone or if you really do not exclude anyone you can currently leave.
Consider a commercial babysitting agreement with another single mother or a group of single mothers. You can share care arrangements in various social evenings, know well that each of you is an alternative movement of way. This can ease the pressure of feeling that you have charged someone and it can also be a fun way for your own children to learn from other children know quickly. This can also be an opportunity to develop a strong relationship with another mom who can help in such emergencies, for example when you have to rush to the medical center with a child but serve another child while you are away. Building this strong relationship with another mom for your social reasons can first have lasting benefits.

3. take time. This may sound cliché but a social life does not happen if you do not decide that it happens and that includes planning and allowed time to do something for themselves. Sit and work if you want to have the time to organize social events on your calendar; Maybe once a week, once a month or every three months - it really depends on you and what you feel is personally possible in your current situation. The only thing to do is think that it is too hard and it will be set aside for next year; The planning allows you to set the goal itself needs the logistics of booking golfers care providers meet other people and save money. Once you allow yourself to think this way, it will start to fall.
Reduce your domestic standards. Do things pretty clean, rather than super clean, pretty tidy, rather than flawless. Cull truly useless tasks, perfect ironing, daily washing and separating the whites in the wash. Think of any housekeeping links, for more time to earn. Get the children to pick up themselves being responsible for the household and be prepared to take them as soon as possible. With tasks that are made to be "good enough" a standard if necessary, rather than being perfect and contributing to each and every member of the household in their own way, there will be more time for you.

If you have a busy schedule that focuses intensely on the work and activities of your children just because you are afraid of these times run down when you feel lonely? If this is the case (and very honest with yourself), try to see the downtime in a new light - which is now your potential social life moments!

4. Select affordable activities. It is likely that you are eager to spend money on your trip, rather than on bills, children's needs and household management. However, with careful planning and informed decisions about what to do, you can spend a good time without spending a lot of money. Of course, the things you do match your interests have, but here are a few ideas to get started:
Visit a museum or art gallery. Depending on where you live, have free or little fees, and offer many days of special discounts.

Visit of the park. Take a picnic and have lunch with a friend that you did not take it with age. The park can also offer entertainment where street theater is performed or you can just see people. Think about exercising in the park, maybe walking or running or athletics. And last but not least, a beautiful day in the park offers ample opportunity to lie on the back under a tree with a good novel and some daydreams, all interruptions of fewer children.

go dancing. Dancing can be a very affordable and fun way to spend time with friends or meet new people. Avoid drinking too much and save you a lot of money and have a good time.

Eat cheap. Visit a local coffee shop, looking for food, or use coupons from restaurants to keep prices up. Or indulge your favorite gourmet foods and take them for a picnic in the park.

Attend a class. Going after a night at the evening school to learn something new, is both educational and socializing. It is not everyone's idea of ​​socialization, but you get to meet new people and share an interest and seize a double blow of education and deployed all in one! And all classes learn about books - How about learning a new kitchen to cook or how to taste wine?

Exercise. Your idea of ​​socialization could have the freedom to go regularly to the gym or to be part of a social sports teams. This is a great way to relax and be drawn at a time, and spend time with people who enjoy the same training activity as you.

Visit games, features, movies and theater. Find discounted tickets for more expensive events, or save for a very special event that you know you need to see.

Visit a bookstore and simply browse in an uninterrupted manner, without which reminds you of the days before the children. Sip a coffee while you read the latest versions and enjoy only able to do so.

Window Go shopping at the favorite mall or main street. You can even find a bargain that you feel you can indulge yourself with.

5. Get to socialize the kids with you. This seems a small face at first, but it is not about dating or events purely reserved for adults, but socializing with your children in a way that meet your needs while socializing yet entertaining. If there really is no other way to get you out of the house, they bring along with. There are many places where you can indulge your interests, where the children will be happy too, provided it is not too late in the night. Think of these activities that show you the love of music, art and natural history in the hope that they will be interested again today. Although they sometimes seem less committed, it is all that is in their head somewhere.
Sociable with friends who have children, so you can bring all children. Children can play together and adults can relax together.
Take the children for a hike, bike ride or picnic. Adjust the length of the walk or the youngest trip of the group, but do not use their age as an excuse not to go. All is to be outdoors happy for you.
Longer on vacation, even if it means just throwing your gear in the car and motel to get to mom and pop in a local town. The conversion exchange should make you all good, the disrupted routine will feel refreshing and there will be a new page to the mother who see your children and realize that you are not just a dimension! Holiday is both social and learning experiences for the whole family and they do not need to break the bank (the campground for a weekend).

6. Meeting new people. When you come back on the dating scene is your thing, do not hesitate. With Internet you can find your dream games at home and meet for a coffee after you have taught us a bit of knowing online. It is not just people with children, focusing on internet dating - it is a practical option for many people and without all your decisions are in a potential new love interest, one can not look good.
Be realistic and honest. If you hit him with someone, let them know very early that you are a single mother. If they do not accept the children in your life now, they will probably never and you have no time to waste. And it may be useful to find someone who also has children; They "get" what you feel and understand much more.

If you intend to adopt someone, know that your availability for appointments or break the relationship and if it quickly becomes obvious that you will not encounter in such a position, it is likely that your date will Lose interest, so you need to order very much before being on this aspect and not unpacking, in the hope that your date will not be noticed!

Avoid connecting temporary data with your children. Enter only a date when it is quite clear that you both have serious intentions about each other.

Warning. When you meet people for the first time in real life, always meet in a public place and go nowhere with them until you know them much better you keep everything light and nice to start with; You really do not know where you're going

7. Talk to share with other single mothers online ideas and advice on social life as a single mother. There are many simple forums and Mom sites that you can join and they are fantastic resources for questions to ask to get information and easily share stories about their experiences. You will learn to make other times single mothers for themselves and some might have their tricks and tricks for you. For some single mothers, chatting online is a form of socialization and meeting new friends, but just be careful not to substitute online life for all the real life opportunities.
Sites like Meetup.com have events for single mothers in your area and if you do not find where you live, you choose, an organizer of these events for yourself. An "event" can be as simple as you want to do all together as single mothers who meet at the local cafe or something more complex, such as a joint babysitting and a special restaurant, a ball game, or movies.

How to Introduce People

How to Introduce People

The idea of ​​man is both an art and a means of ensuring good manners. A good introduction can be a great start-up conversation and can help people relieve the inconvenience or discomfort at the meeting for the first time. If you imagine people is the most important and difficult part of knowing who should be presented at the base of rank and authority. Once you have found, you can easily help learn two people know - and even begin a great conversation in the process. See how to learn step 1, how to introduce people today

Part 1Giving the Basics Down

1. Find an opening. If you want to introduce people to each other, then it is important to get the right time. You do not have to end after the presentations have even started to start by interrupting a fantastic conversation just to get the details about how each other or the wrong people. Here's what you need to know:
If you find yourself talking to two people who do not know each other, try to imagine as soon as possible. That may be a little tricky Let's say you're with your college roommate, Amanda, if you have your high school friend, Jake, who starts in a story of a common friend. Poor Amanda will be there and guinder and boring, while Jake hang out. It is important to find an opening, so you can include Amanda in the conversation.
You should imagine someone standing in the middle of a serious conversation. Maybe you are at an event working with a client, and warns you wanting to introduce it to your boss. Although this is an important introduction that should be done, you should avoid doing this if your boss seems to be stuck in a conversation with another person. You must wait for an opening, if your boss does not seem very absorbed; The introduction of lead at the wrong time, people may because they can not put off so well.
2. know which person has a higher rank or an authority in a social context. It is important to know that the person of lower rank or the authority of the higher person or authority must always be presented. In general, in a social situation is the family of the "master card" and determines the higher rank; Women are always commanded over men unless the man is much older than the woman. After this age is the next crucial factor; An elderly person is classified on a young person who can be a useful distinction when both people of the same sex are. Here's what you should know:
Your 70-year-old mother-in-law is older than your new friend brand.
Grand Age has priority over most rank or authority, courtesy and respect. My old eighty year old male neighbor should be higher than your 14 year old niece (for most people).
All things being equal, the person who you experienced the longest to be called first: your junior friend introduce your old friend
Social Introductions Men are usually women presented as a sign of respect. Gender is not a factor in business circles where rank is important.
Their parents hold a higher rank than your friends.
3. know which of the two has a higher rank or an authority in a business context. In a context of businesswomen still have a higher ranking than men, and the elderly still rank higher than the young, but the position outweighs age and gender. This means that if a young man has a higher position as a woman, this woman must be presented to the man, because man will have the higher rank. In fact, when it comes to a business context, "Position" determines first rank, and then comes sex and age. Here's what you need to know:
Your boss will rank higher or more authority than your colleague, partner or best friend.
His older colleague has priority over your young colleagues.
Your client or client must be presented to your employees.
If you imagine people rank equal in the business world, you introduce the person you do not know the person you know best. You must tell the name of the person you know best first.
4. Always say the name of the person with a higher rank and present the person of lower rank to them. This can be a bit confusing, but it means that you have to indicate the name of the top person and then you "present" the other person. This makes the person of higher rank than the most important in the circumstances. Here are some examples:
Run a friend or an important other for a parent. The parent has a higher rank, "Dad, I want you to begegst my friend, Danny. "
Define a business partner specific to a parent. "Mr. CEO, I would like to introduce Mr. Ling Sous"
Ask a customer for a business partner. "Mr. Customer is Mr. Money, my partner"
Put a young person to an older version, "Lord Oldson, I want you to meet Sally Youngling. "
Make a man a woman before, "Mary is Jeff. "
In a business context, you can prioritize on sex. If Mr Thomas is a senior man like Mrs Davis, Mr Thomas obtains superior authority because of his financial situation, even though Mrs Davis is a woman 'Mr Thomas, I'll introduce Ms. Davis. "
5. General information to help people start a conversation. You should do it only after you have people introduced. If they have enough to talk about their own, that's fine, but if you're trying to facilitate a business conversation, or just to help people socialize at a party before they pass, then you Can take a connection wire available that can let people talk themselves or give a little more information about each person and guide them to establish the connection. You can help connect people by mentioning a common interest, a place they both know well, or even a person they both know. Here are some examples of ways to connect people:
"Elizabeth, have you learned Fitzwilliam?" I think you both share a love for Jane Austen's reading while walking on the moors. "
"Mom, this is my friend, Stacy. She gives classes in your yoga studio. "
"Mr. Jones, here Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith helped me on the Connor account, we never closed the account, if there was not your help, Mr. Jones. "
"Mary, I love you, meet Mark my neighbors. Mark is actually a published writer, Mary has just begun to write creative writings. "
"Amy, you met Rick, Rick did work with Jeff, your roommate, Jeff is not the greatest?" I wish he could be here tonight ... "

Part 2
Control the label

1. Make a formal introduction correctly. Most formal introductions relate to the workplace, but they can also take place at formal social events, or if you are with distinguished people. If you present people in a formal setting, you must use the first and last names of the people, as well as the sentences "I can introduce you", "I would like to introduce you" or "Have you met. ... "Some people think you should not use the word" introduce "because this can cause confusion or turn out to be too direct, but it's up to you to decide. Here's what you should do:
First name the person of higher rank or authority.
Use first and last name, and include any title such as "Dr./Sir". For example, "Dr. Jones, can I introduce Stephanie Smith." Dr. Jones is my professor of art history. "Stephanie is a great art history."
Include relevant details when you present both together, such as any established relationship you have with the person you are presenting. For example, you could say, "Mr. Boss, may I introduce Mark Jones. Mr. Boss is my boss. Mark Jones is my partner.
2. Make an informal introduction correctly. For a less formal occasion, like your backyard barbecue, you can simply introduce the two people by name by saying something like "Fitzwilliam Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet". You can also connect people in a more casual way and say something like "I am unhappy to meet you ..." In an informal setting, you may worry less about how to say everything and nothing about doing Speak to people.
The use of first names is simple in informal situations.
3. Introduce the group correctly. In this case, you will have to spend a little time presenting the newcomer to each individual in the group, unless it is a small informal group where a general introduction would suffice and no time or Disturbs the appointment of each member of the group. You have the group's attention.
For more formal groups, introduce the newcomer to the whole group, then take the newcomer to each person and introduce by his name: "Caroline, it's Fitzwilliam, my boss, Lydia is Fitzwilliam, my boss, "etc. Continue to browse the group this way.
Although you may think it's fun or just easier to say, "Mary, that's everyone. Everyone is Mary", that does not contribute to a conversation. Moreover, it is rude to "everyone" because it seems that you do not believe it is worth it for Mary to know every person. Of course, use your discretion: if you are at a strong party and Mary has arrived there, it may be difficult to present twelve new faces immediately. Instead, facilitate Mary in the conversation and introduce her to a few people at a time.
4. Do not repeat the names or reverse the introduction. In formal and informal cases, you do not need to reverse the introductions. It is obvious to both parties who is who. Repeating names or reversing the introduction can make things a little tedious, and you will make a social mistake.
5. Be sensitive when you do not know a person's name. We were all there. You're trying to introduce two people when you realize you've completely forgotten the name of the person standing in front of you. There are two approaches you can take:
Excuse yourself with passion and say, "I'm so sorry, would you remind me your name?"
Try to be sneaky. Say: "Have the two of you met?" Then take a break and wait for people to show up. This is not a perfect maneuver, but this can help you in a pinch, especially if you have forgotten the name of a person you have met on several occasions!
6. Use common sense to decide what to call people. The general rule is that you should introduce people to each other by what you normally call. For example, if you are excellent friends with your former teacher, Lucy Houston, you can simply introduce her to your boyfriend as "Lucy," if that's what you always call. If you are in a more formal situation and the person did not allow you to call him by his first name and you always called the person by "Dr." Or "Sir", then you should continue to do so.
If in doubt, opt for the more formal option. It's better to tell your boss: "You can call me Bob instead of Mr." Instead of having your boss groomed when you call him "Bob" instead of "Sir"

How to navigate the sexual problems during single

How to navigate the sexual problems during single

If you want to share a relationship that will pass the test of time, it is important to know your sexual preferences so that you can find someone who shares them with you. You can, by simply discovering more of your sexual preferences, think about what you will find most attractive and the most attractive scenarios for books, movies and fantasies. Further attitudes can only be accepted within the framework of a relationship form or because you are introduced something new, or because you learn to love something you've never experienced before.

Note
1. Think about how you really want to have sex with other people. If you sometimes feel different from other people because you believe that the content is single and single, ask yourself the following:
Do you find that you lack desire or attraction to members of one or the other kind? You may think that some people are very beneficial, but do not feel like "watching" as you see.
Or is it that you are attracted to people of the same sex and / or contrast, but you do not really want to have sex with them? Have you tried to have sex with people, you were attracted, and you found out that you do not enjoy the experience?
If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, you do not need to feel alone or abnormally. There are many others that are asexual. Asexual can enjoy romantic relationships, without sex, or with limited sex. Asexuals can simply seek hugs and physical affection, or they do not want the platonic friendships in their lives.
There is a strong online support community for asexual you want to contact to seek advice and support on how to feel "different" as individual friends and "manage" and seek advice, in no way sexual relationships (sexual or quasi) You want to pursue in your life.
2. Think about how "monogam" you want your next relationship to be. There is a great variety in the kind of relationships that people share. Maybe you are not cutting for certain types of relationships, but you are also looking for other types of relationships.
Think about how many different sexual partners you would have at an appropriate time in the ideal case. If you imagine a mixture of multiple sexual partners long and different in the short term, you can not go to the end of the monogam monogamy spectrum <-> non-monogamy. Many people with these preferences become polyamorous because polyamory enables them to find partners who are relatively open in relationships ethically (ie, without exposing anyone to the risk of sexual illness without their explicit consent).
If this does not seem sustainable in the long run, perhaps you'll look more likely to share a long-term and stable relationship with someone, but you and your partner are not completely closed to other relationships. Maybe a few, you agree to make a swing, or maybe you are free to form sexual and romantic relationships with long-term significant others. If this sounds like your idea, you can be happier looking for a polyfidé list, a more conventional type of relationship with someone who likes club sex occasionally or to visit.
There are poly-oriented online communities and local self-help groups in many areas for polyamorous individuals. The most popular dating site for those looking for poly relationship is ok cupid.
If one of these types of non-monogamous relationships puts the concept into question and instead your ideal relationship would be sexually exclusive, you can end up the monogam monogamy spectrum without monogamy <->. If you tend to feel jealous when someone you love to flirt with someone else, and if you often imagine the object of your affection to love you, and only you are good indicators that you have strong monogam tendencies (in series). If you can not think of someone else in a "romantic" way, if you are in love with someone, then it is also a good indicator that you are (in series) monogamous by nature.
It is important to understand that you can not convert someone to become polyamorous any more than you can convert someone to homosexual or monogam. It is a part of what someone usually lasts and can not be altered. You are more likely to be sexually compatible with someone in the long term if you are both on the same end (or center) of the spectrum without monogamy monogamy <->.
3. Ask yourself how "perverse" you want to be your closest relationship? There is a great variety in terms of sexual desire, so there really is no normal and abnormal sexual desires, easy and common sexual desires. The desires you might think the couple will not be as rare as you think.
Do you enjoy the fantasy of sex while being a single hand or doing something less than conventional, presented as sex in public with or dressed in costumes of the Victorian era? They can be "kinky" and have a fetish. Many if not most people have fetishes, whether they are or not. Just because you imagine a particular scenario of "fetishism" does not mean you need or even want to take over. Again, you could!
Determine where you fall on the spectrum and different sexual "bend" is another important step in learning your sexuality with yourself to discover and enjoy and interact with others. It is also an important step in partner searching you would be sexually compatible with long term.
There are many online communities dedicated to helping adults explore their wrinkles. On these pages you will find information about "Munch-In", which meet in cafes dedicated to discuss wrinkles with friendly people and find fetish.
4. Take the initiative to pursue the kind of relationship you want. The most important step you can take to increase your chances of finding someone to share a relationship with is to live or move on to a large city environment. According to interested, you are in other forms of relationships, the more important it is that you live in a community that is large enough to include people with similar interests. In the United States 28% of adults live alone, but the proportion of adults who are alone in large cities like New York and Washington, DC live, is closer to 50%. [1] A large proportion of people living alone are single. On the international level, is quite similar, the percentage of people living alone in large cities. Here are some key steps you need to take to take the initiative to find a relationship:
Ask people for data (the more you do, the easier it is);
In the social activities you love, with the kind of people you want
Sit out there (you post a profile on an online dating site, letting you know that you are single and looking for your friends);
Be flexible (as agreed, passing dating someone for the first few months of the relationship) on the terms of the relationship;
And try to evaluate your superficial preferences and adapt (ask a good friend to decide to help you which preferences you have that are a bit silly - like hair color - that could bring to a great potential partner neglected).
5. meet many people who are on all good or women who are "taken", generally complain a fun, friendly, attractive, interesting people that they imagine with relative ease, goals of similar relationships share with They and they feel a mutual spark from the start. As happens from time to time, most people have some of the steps outlined above, if they hope to realistically meet someone she could be happy with a relationship.
6. Determine if you are sexually compatible with your new partner. Here are some of the first questions to ask yourself as you come and are then integrated more deeply into a long-term relationship:
Do you often feel rejected by your partner, if you are trying to initiate intimacy? Does your partner often complained rejected feel this way to you?
Do you feel like your partner is being excluded only with you? Or pursue your partner that you do not seem to really enjoy sex?
Do you and your partner have very different sexual urges?
Do you and your partner seem very different things to enjoy in bed, enough that you talk a lot in the end when you try to have a sexual relationship?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be a sign that you are sexually incompatible with someone, at least to some extent, which should be discussed with your new partner. It is possible that you work through these problems through communication, or you can find the problems only get worse over time.
Remember that sexual compatibility is undervalued in our society in general (especially in young women who have not reached their sexual climax) and many late relationships due to problems of sexual incompatibility.
Even if you save marriage save sex, in the council before marriage, many pastors and priests encourage the engaged to talk with many of these types of questions to make sure they are on the same page before A lifetime commitment to each other do. Many believe that it is possible to get a good sense of your sexual chemistry and compatibility with someone without sexual intercourse, because sex is only part of sex. In the general characteristics are awareness, responsiveness to needs and going out of their way to make someone else happy will, the characteristics that enter the bedroom, especially with time and experience.
7. Avoid decantation. Many people admit that they have been less well regulated for an ideal sex life to maintain long-term, monogamous love relationship.
It can be particularly disappointing for people when an abuse of trust or a romantic betrayal occurs because they felt when they were not ready to make that kind of compromise about their sex life if they had known that their Partner their faithful word would remain:
As a general rule, your relationship should be as sexually and emotionally satisfying as you think you might present yourself to forgive that partner if I had betrayed you once again, because there is a high likelihood that it (see Warnings ). If you cling to an unsatisfactory dysfunctional relationship just because you think your partner will be sexually faithful, it's not much of a basis for a relationship (and you may be wrong).
If you know that you are sexually incompatible from the beginning, the decision can be to leave easily. If you have sexual problems with a long-term partner, it is important to assess whether the problem can be resolved over time. Be gentle and patient, because you do not want to give them a complex and make things worse:
You might consider seeing a sexual counselor who is a therapist who specializes in talking to couples about sexual issues and assigning them "homework" to working on solving sexual problems.
Take your time because you can not immediately reveal the causes that could range from temporary depression to your partner just to hang around for financial support, although he / she does not like you.
If you think your partner is not up front on the causes or you do not believe you can tolerate long term sexual problems and have tried for several months to solve the problem it is sometimes best for people , End relationship.

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

An addictive relationship is characterized by the need to continue with the person despite the obvious negative consequences or "retain" them. This can happen in romantic relationships and friendships. In these relationships, you may feel as if you are giving everything you have to this person while getting little in return fulfillment. If you are struggling with a cluttered attachment, you can begin to analyze what is going on in the relationship, and then some steps to break this obsessive conditioning.

Part 1
The analysis of an addictive relationship

1. Make a list. Write a column for the positive things you want from the relationship, and another column to list the negative things about the relationship. Go deeper into your life to determine if the connections are socially, mentally, emotionally or professionally healthy. Here are some aspects of healthy relationships for you to consider:
Open and honest communication. The two men feel able to express their feelings and opinions without fear of being harmed or reduced to them. Both people use a friendly, friendly language to express their feelings and to use any language of shame or guilt. Both men make no excuse for their actions. Both men recognize the validity of other emotions.
Equity and negotiation. Both people are willing to negotiate and commit to finding common solutions. No person is ever on or giving up. Both men try to see the situation from the perspective of the other. No person is "winning" at the expense of the other.
Shared responsibility and power. No one makes all the decisions. If a person makes decisions usually, it is because both people are happy with it.
Respect. Both people feel valued for their own unique. Both men are satisfied with each other. Although angry or injured two people retain respect and use of any harmful or abusive language or actions.
Trust and support. Both men lean against each other. You want the best for the other person. Both people feel they can trust each other. Both feel secure to share their feelings, desires and needs without fear of judgment.
Privacy. This can be physical affection. You can also respect the limits of the other person or privacy. Truly, intimate relationships do not try to control the behavior of a person or a monitor.
Personal integrity. Both people have a self-image of their relationship. Both have a sense of independence and maintain their own values, tastes and beliefs. Both partners take responsibility for their words and actions.
2. Looking back on past relationships. Many people are addicted to people who have suffered from inadequate family relationships. Often these family members were not trusted or did not provide basic needs like food, shelter or emotional support.
If the person to whom you are addicted, reminiscent of a former family member or otherwise, you can try to compensate for an earlier failed relationship through this current relationship. You have separate feelings from the two different relationships to continue.
A sign signing a dependent person code attracts people who are unstable. Maybe you always make friends or start relationships with people who are emotionally inaccessible. Examine to see if this is true for you previous relationships.
3. Maintain a relationship protocol. I know regularly about how the relationship makes you feel and what behaviors, hopes and fantasies you harbor. By writing about an everyday relationship can help you avoid overlooking bad times and specify the relationship is always good.
4. Be aware of your communication and interaction styles. In addictive relationships, the couple is usually not risky to discuss issues and often to glassy certain problems with half-truths capable. If you notice that you and your partner rarely really have intimate conversations about your personal fears or dreams, you may be in an addictive relationship.
Healthy relationships involve intimacy, go to conversations below the surface in areas you would not normally share with the public. These attachments include Give and receive by both partners and the mutual benefit of the investment.
Ill-affiliated relationships and general dependent code stay above the surface and have few full conversations. Maybe you are always like this, like you can be happy about the other person, but inside you feel sad or confused. You can only feel relaxed and happy if the other person feels as always. They fear what would happen if he told his lover or friend how he really feels.
5. Accept that a relationship is not healthy when you see evidence of coercion, control, or abuse. If your relationship has led others to lose their own identity, to lose other relationships and feel like they could not function without the other person, they are symptoms of an addictive relationship. You have to get out of this relationship before the situation gets worse.
Signs of an obsessive relationship can delusional trends in which your partner or friend exaggerates all your interactions with others. This person can think a smile with a stranger means something more. You can check your phone or email to make sure your relationship with you is a priority.
A controlling partner can make you feel as if you have lost your individuality. This person can go through the Guilt Trip time to the point that you spend very little time with family or friends of others.
Most people think that an abusive relationship can be tantamount to physical violence. In fact, compulsion and control behavior can borrow to emotional abuse. If your partner or friend are isolated from others, it is obsessions, that trying to tell you what to do, or drag down to maintain a position of authority over you, you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

part 2
Break a disordered attachment

1. Determine what are the parts of your addictive fantasy relationship and what is reality. In these types of relationships, it is common to see your partner through pink lenses. We have a tendency to keep fantasizing about how a man hopes that it will come true someday. We can also create fantasy stories about how we relate to other people.
Accept the reality about your partner. Instead of saying, "It's not so bad, she bought me a necklace for my birthday," telling the truth about her partner: "She acts as if she was jealous of other people I hung up with so I was finally Hanging with her "or" she thinks I'm often to get to see my family, "if the relationship -. Platonic or romantic - with the result that you feel weak controls or, you have to admit to myself. Do not act like it's going well, just to keep the attachment.
Expansion (disappearance of things from relationship) and mitigation (things that are less important than they are) are common cognitive distortions, useless ways of thinking that we can slip covertly. If you keep looking at that look for excuses or "not so bad" abtreibst things you can use to justify your stay in the relationship of these distortions.
2. Break the physical connections you have with that person. Compounds can contain such things as project financing, housing or work. Understand that you have to give yourself extra time to break those connections. You also wonder if your addiction to relationships is based on the services that are available to you by going with this person. Change your bank account and start getting paychecks to the new account if you share money with this person.
Looking at renting a new place to live or temporarily if the unhealthy plant is a roommate.
Eliminate alcohol, drugs, food, sex, or other triggers that can entice you to remain in an addictive situation.
3. Plan the activities of positive people in your life. To counteract the negative energy and feedback you get into an addictive relationship, you will change them with the positive response from other sources. Expand the links now and surround yourself with flowering individuals who appreciate what you have to offer.
4. Set personal goals If you have even ignored because of a personal addiction, try to pick up a hobby by starting to train for a fitness event or to go for a promotion at work. When you start working on yourself, you can see how separated you have got into an addictive relationship significantly.
5. Make a list of your independent wishes. Begin each vignette with "I want ..." or "I want ..." so that you can separate personal desires from relationship needs. These requests range from the desire to visit Italy to get a new haircut or color. Concentrate only on you while breaking an addiction love.

part 3
Embrace your independence

1. Decide how you will treat the person when they sit in the future with you. Think of a plan or develop a script, what is your reaction when you meet that person. Remember: You should limit contact if the person reduces their self-esteem and feels small or unloved.
For example, if the person wants to talk on the phone, suggest a date and time, and then you go to a friend's house to support the call.
2. The withdrawal request symptoms. At the point of euphoria, excitement and enthusiasm that fear of experiencing doubt, loneliness and panic after an addictive relationship, dependent code dissolves. Physical symptoms can mimic substance abuse, as sleeping or eating is not possible, to experience seizures, tremors and nausea. These are normal parts of breaking a bonus that gave you positive emotions. The symptoms fade over time.
3. Face feelings of loneliness or depression. If you feel chronically depressed, seek the services of a professional consultant. The end of an addictive relationship can make you feel empty inside and make you believe that you should never love another person. An advisor will help you understand the importance of working on yourself and making sure you are healthy and complete.
Remember, feelings of worthlessness can not be sealed by relationships; You must resolve these feelings of love more and more to each other by a matter or another person. Dealing with your own self-esteem issues now before you start dating again.
4. Connect a support group that is based on Love or Addiction Codependenz. You may find the strength to deal with hearing the stories of triumph of others, the bonds have separated from an addictive relationship. In conjunction with a counselor for individualized therapy, attend meetings with another way to help you educate yourself in addictive relationships and learn to recognize unhealthy relationships in the future.
5. Take care of yourself. It can be easy to forget yourself when you are at the end of a relationship with a person who feels interested. Take extra time to eat and exercise regularly to get quality, and treat them with care. Self-care activities per week can also help you feel more like yourself and bring some structure to your newly discovered independence. Relax in a relaxing bubble bath, get your hair cut and combed, or visit the spa for a massage. Do not neglect it, because it feels bad.
6. Learn to set appropriate boundaries in relationships and friendship. Limits a stable healthy life are important to you. Many people mistakenly assume when they are very close to another person, when they meet for the first time, it is a sign of a perfect match. Remember, you must have a life beyond your friend / girlfriend or best friend.
The next time you find a new person, you're right about your needs and all the restrictions you want to set. In a healthy relationship, both parties should tell you how things work. Do not give your power to another candidate in the membership relationship.
Looking forward, always attentive and aware of your relationships / friendships have been complicated. Take things little by little with each new person that comes into your life. Always consider your needs and practice self-care.
Finally, they will continue to receive outside support from their adviser or a local group formation of support and encouragement to resemble new healthy bonds.