How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

An addictive relationship is characterized by the need to continue with the person despite the obvious negative consequences or "retain" them. This can happen in romantic relationships and friendships. In these relationships, you may feel as if you are giving everything you have to this person while getting little in return fulfillment. If you are struggling with a cluttered attachment, you can begin to analyze what is going on in the relationship, and then some steps to break this obsessive conditioning.

Part 1
The analysis of an addictive relationship

1. Make a list. Write a column for the positive things you want from the relationship, and another column to list the negative things about the relationship. Go deeper into your life to determine if the connections are socially, mentally, emotionally or professionally healthy. Here are some aspects of healthy relationships for you to consider:
Open and honest communication. The two men feel able to express their feelings and opinions without fear of being harmed or reduced to them. Both people use a friendly, friendly language to express their feelings and to use any language of shame or guilt. Both men make no excuse for their actions. Both men recognize the validity of other emotions.
Equity and negotiation. Both people are willing to negotiate and commit to finding common solutions. No person is ever on or giving up. Both men try to see the situation from the perspective of the other. No person is "winning" at the expense of the other.
Shared responsibility and power. No one makes all the decisions. If a person makes decisions usually, it is because both people are happy with it.
Respect. Both people feel valued for their own unique. Both men are satisfied with each other. Although angry or injured two people retain respect and use of any harmful or abusive language or actions.
Trust and support. Both men lean against each other. You want the best for the other person. Both people feel they can trust each other. Both feel secure to share their feelings, desires and needs without fear of judgment.
Privacy. This can be physical affection. You can also respect the limits of the other person or privacy. Truly, intimate relationships do not try to control the behavior of a person or a monitor.
Personal integrity. Both people have a self-image of their relationship. Both have a sense of independence and maintain their own values, tastes and beliefs. Both partners take responsibility for their words and actions.
2. Looking back on past relationships. Many people are addicted to people who have suffered from inadequate family relationships. Often these family members were not trusted or did not provide basic needs like food, shelter or emotional support.
If the person to whom you are addicted, reminiscent of a former family member or otherwise, you can try to compensate for an earlier failed relationship through this current relationship. You have separate feelings from the two different relationships to continue.
A sign signing a dependent person code attracts people who are unstable. Maybe you always make friends or start relationships with people who are emotionally inaccessible. Examine to see if this is true for you previous relationships.
3. Maintain a relationship protocol. I know regularly about how the relationship makes you feel and what behaviors, hopes and fantasies you harbor. By writing about an everyday relationship can help you avoid overlooking bad times and specify the relationship is always good.
4. Be aware of your communication and interaction styles. In addictive relationships, the couple is usually not risky to discuss issues and often to glassy certain problems with half-truths capable. If you notice that you and your partner rarely really have intimate conversations about your personal fears or dreams, you may be in an addictive relationship.
Healthy relationships involve intimacy, go to conversations below the surface in areas you would not normally share with the public. These attachments include Give and receive by both partners and the mutual benefit of the investment.
Ill-affiliated relationships and general dependent code stay above the surface and have few full conversations. Maybe you are always like this, like you can be happy about the other person, but inside you feel sad or confused. You can only feel relaxed and happy if the other person feels as always. They fear what would happen if he told his lover or friend how he really feels.
5. Accept that a relationship is not healthy when you see evidence of coercion, control, or abuse. If your relationship has led others to lose their own identity, to lose other relationships and feel like they could not function without the other person, they are symptoms of an addictive relationship. You have to get out of this relationship before the situation gets worse.
Signs of an obsessive relationship can delusional trends in which your partner or friend exaggerates all your interactions with others. This person can think a smile with a stranger means something more. You can check your phone or email to make sure your relationship with you is a priority.
A controlling partner can make you feel as if you have lost your individuality. This person can go through the Guilt Trip time to the point that you spend very little time with family or friends of others.
Most people think that an abusive relationship can be tantamount to physical violence. In fact, compulsion and control behavior can borrow to emotional abuse. If your partner or friend are isolated from others, it is obsessions, that trying to tell you what to do, or drag down to maintain a position of authority over you, you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

part 2
Break a disordered attachment

1. Determine what are the parts of your addictive fantasy relationship and what is reality. In these types of relationships, it is common to see your partner through pink lenses. We have a tendency to keep fantasizing about how a man hopes that it will come true someday. We can also create fantasy stories about how we relate to other people.
Accept the reality about your partner. Instead of saying, "It's not so bad, she bought me a necklace for my birthday," telling the truth about her partner: "She acts as if she was jealous of other people I hung up with so I was finally Hanging with her "or" she thinks I'm often to get to see my family, "if the relationship -. Platonic or romantic - with the result that you feel weak controls or, you have to admit to myself. Do not act like it's going well, just to keep the attachment.
Expansion (disappearance of things from relationship) and mitigation (things that are less important than they are) are common cognitive distortions, useless ways of thinking that we can slip covertly. If you keep looking at that look for excuses or "not so bad" abtreibst things you can use to justify your stay in the relationship of these distortions.
2. Break the physical connections you have with that person. Compounds can contain such things as project financing, housing or work. Understand that you have to give yourself extra time to break those connections. You also wonder if your addiction to relationships is based on the services that are available to you by going with this person. Change your bank account and start getting paychecks to the new account if you share money with this person.
Looking at renting a new place to live or temporarily if the unhealthy plant is a roommate.
Eliminate alcohol, drugs, food, sex, or other triggers that can entice you to remain in an addictive situation.
3. Plan the activities of positive people in your life. To counteract the negative energy and feedback you get into an addictive relationship, you will change them with the positive response from other sources. Expand the links now and surround yourself with flowering individuals who appreciate what you have to offer.
4. Set personal goals If you have even ignored because of a personal addiction, try to pick up a hobby by starting to train for a fitness event or to go for a promotion at work. When you start working on yourself, you can see how separated you have got into an addictive relationship significantly.
5. Make a list of your independent wishes. Begin each vignette with "I want ..." or "I want ..." so that you can separate personal desires from relationship needs. These requests range from the desire to visit Italy to get a new haircut or color. Concentrate only on you while breaking an addiction love.

part 3
Embrace your independence

1. Decide how you will treat the person when they sit in the future with you. Think of a plan or develop a script, what is your reaction when you meet that person. Remember: You should limit contact if the person reduces their self-esteem and feels small or unloved.
For example, if the person wants to talk on the phone, suggest a date and time, and then you go to a friend's house to support the call.
2. The withdrawal request symptoms. At the point of euphoria, excitement and enthusiasm that fear of experiencing doubt, loneliness and panic after an addictive relationship, dependent code dissolves. Physical symptoms can mimic substance abuse, as sleeping or eating is not possible, to experience seizures, tremors and nausea. These are normal parts of breaking a bonus that gave you positive emotions. The symptoms fade over time.
3. Face feelings of loneliness or depression. If you feel chronically depressed, seek the services of a professional consultant. The end of an addictive relationship can make you feel empty inside and make you believe that you should never love another person. An advisor will help you understand the importance of working on yourself and making sure you are healthy and complete.
Remember, feelings of worthlessness can not be sealed by relationships; You must resolve these feelings of love more and more to each other by a matter or another person. Dealing with your own self-esteem issues now before you start dating again.
4. Connect a support group that is based on Love or Addiction Codependenz. You may find the strength to deal with hearing the stories of triumph of others, the bonds have separated from an addictive relationship. In conjunction with a counselor for individualized therapy, attend meetings with another way to help you educate yourself in addictive relationships and learn to recognize unhealthy relationships in the future.
5. Take care of yourself. It can be easy to forget yourself when you are at the end of a relationship with a person who feels interested. Take extra time to eat and exercise regularly to get quality, and treat them with care. Self-care activities per week can also help you feel more like yourself and bring some structure to your newly discovered independence. Relax in a relaxing bubble bath, get your hair cut and combed, or visit the spa for a massage. Do not neglect it, because it feels bad.
6. Learn to set appropriate boundaries in relationships and friendship. Limits a stable healthy life are important to you. Many people mistakenly assume when they are very close to another person, when they meet for the first time, it is a sign of a perfect match. Remember, you must have a life beyond your friend / girlfriend or best friend.
The next time you find a new person, you're right about your needs and all the restrictions you want to set. In a healthy relationship, both parties should tell you how things work. Do not give your power to another candidate in the membership relationship.
Looking forward, always attentive and aware of your relationships / friendships have been complicated. Take things little by little with each new person that comes into your life. Always consider your needs and practice self-care.
Finally, they will continue to receive outside support from their adviser or a local group formation of support and encouragement to resemble new healthy bonds.

How do you do with the couple's tattoo, which they do not like

How do you do with the couple's tattoo, which they do not like

Maybe you are shocked and horrified because your partner just came home with a surprise tattoo. Or maybe you've told your partner in advance that you want no tattoos, but still have one. Regardless of the exact circumstances that I hate tattoos and your partner now has one. The best way to deal with your partner tattoo is to give your partner your feelings, to find out why your partner got a tattoo and struggled with the tattoo. Also remember that with your partner because of the emotional connection you have with them, and not because of their appearance. Changing your easy appearance with a tattoo should not change your emotional connection with your partner.

Method 1
Find out why your partner has a tattoo

1. Check with your partner about the meaning of the tattoo. Many people get tattoos that have some kind of symbolic significance or significance. Ask your partner, who is your tattoo. This can help you understand the tattoo better and deal with it.
For example, a tattoo of a name, initials or date may symbolize the death of a family member or a close friend.
On the other hand, the tattoo could symbolize a hobby or a passion. For example, a tree can symbolize a passion for nature.
Some tattoos are considered as the motivation. For example, they have to see something on a bad day to give inspiration.
2. Find out what motivates them to get a tattoo. Certain events, such an important birthday, a new job, the termination of a contract or the birth of a child could motivate a person to get a tattoo. In these cases, the tattoo is meant to be a specific opportunity to commemorate or celebrate. They may be more inclined to accept the tattoo, even though they do not like it when you find that a big event your partner has motivated to get the tattoo.
3. Listen to your partner. If your partner explains the origins of your tattoo, it is important that you actively listen to them. This will prove that you care about what they say and are interested in learning about your tattoo. This will also help you and your partner have a constructive conversation about the tattoo, rather than just in an argument.
Sit in conversation, make eye contact and nod your head from time to time to show that you are listening.
Ask questions to show that you are involved in the conversation.
4. Accept that you can not have a "good" reason. Your partner may not have a "good" cause (in your opinion) for a tattoo, but you may feel as if your reason for getting the tattoo was a good one. Even with the tattoo agreement, you can continue to comply with the decision. Try to accept the fact that maybe your partner just wanted a tattoo and just like the concept of body art. It is important to respect the decisions of your partner how they want your body to look.
Remember that a tattoo can alter the appearance of your partner, but it will not change the bond you share with your partner.

Method 2
Your feelings to communicate

1. Explain your concerns before a tattoo is done. If your partner has thought of a tattoo for a while, you should explain why you do not like tattoos before you actually get one. For example, tattoos can be a trigger for you and bring back unpleasant memories and experiences. Or maybe to find tattoos unprofessional and unattractive. Once you explain why you do not like tattoos, your partner may decide to get none.
Remember that your partner has the right to control the appearance of the body. Avoid not manipulating your concern about tattoos as a way to manipulate your partner a tattoo. You can share your fear, but try to be respectful of your partner's wishes.
2. Share your feelings after the fact. If your partner comes with a surprise tattoo, without notice home, you should still vocalize your feelings. Be careful to be respectful and remember that your partner has the right to do what they want to do with their bodies. For example, you might say, "I wish you had told me that you wanted to get a tattoo, so we talked about it in advance and were able to reach a compromise." This will allow you to get your feelings out of my chest and you and your partner can come to an understanding.
If your partner got a surprise tattoo of your name or image, it was probably thought of as a nice touch. You should not be too critical because you are trying to demonstrate your commitment and your feelings about your relationship.
3. Use a calm and soft tone. When talking to your partner about your new tattoo, do not shout or use an aggressive tone. Instead, you should approach in silence and gently to talk to us. This way, you will not attack your partner, but try to come to an understanding. Take a deep breath before speaking.
You can also try a little time to cool down before your partner about your new tattoo.
4. Ask your partner to include you next time. Maybe you're upset because your partner did not tell you about the tattoo beforehand. As a result, you feel as if your partner does not value your opinion. Tell your partner that you have seen and felt a lack of respect. If your partner understands that your negative response comes from a place of pain, they may be able to better understand your position and it will be the next time you decide to make a big change in your appearance.

Method 3
Reached an agreement with your tattoo partner

1. Realize that this is not your decision. Once you and your partner have been talking openly and honestly about the tattoo, you must respect that this is not your body and therefore your decision. They like the tattoo they do not like, but if you want to stay in a relationship with your partner, then it is a good idea to accept the fact that you have no control over what your partner puts your body.
You can always have your opinion, but the final decision is up to your partner about whether or not to get a tattoo.
2. Determine if the tattoo is a supply item for you. You may decide that you both like tattoos that you can not be with your partner in a relationship. In some cases, the best way for you to manage is to leave the relationship. For example, if your partner got a tattoo that you consider offensive, you may decide that you can no longer be in a relationship with that person. Try to ask some questions to determine your feelings for that person:
"What initially attracted me to my partner? Is the attraction still there, or does it have to change now, because of the tattoo? Why?"
"What is the real cause of my concerns with the tattoo?"
"What emotions do I feel associated with the tattoo? Why do I feel these emotions? Are the emotions really connected to the tattoo, or to talk about the fact that my partner made the decision without me?"
"If the cause of my emotions / concerns is something that I can control or director is through healthy coping skills? Is it something that maybe should be in conjunction with a professional counselor or is it something I am capable of Solve? "
3. Find something positive about the tattoo. You may be able to cope better with the tattoo if you are able to find something that you like from it. For example, perhaps it is small and not so remarkable, so you can learn to live with it. Or maybe the tattoo is in a place not visible and you will not be able to see mostly by clothing. Try to find something positive about the tattoo to help you cope.
Over time, you will probably get used to that tattoo.

How to Ditch Friends in Bad Faith

How to Ditch Friends in Bad Faith

If it feels like some friends "are not on it", maybe it may be time to clean the house. With insincere or inconsiderate friends in your life can not only make you feel blue, but it can also have a toxic effect on your health and well-being. Life is too short to play with dishonest people, so take in who your real friends are and start anchoring your list of friends.
Steps

1. Identify the friends who bring negativity into your life. If you have friends put your eyes or a whisper behind your back, want it inside the "naughty" list. Personalities belong to the following:
Verdict: This friend tried that you think he knows better than you and / or trying to correct on every train.
Manipulator: He does not have the best interest in the heart, but his own. This friend will dig in your weaknesses and use them against you for your benefit.
Narcissistic: It is that the friend 07,24. This friend is very focused on his needs and does not care about himself or his feelings.
Obligation: This friend never makes you a priority and if you really need a friend, he will not be there to support you.

2. Take friends who are always at your disposal. To determine which of your friends are sincere (or negative), first think of friends whom you have no doubt about; Those who are always at your disposal through thick and thin. Qualities to compare with your friends who are in the pit:
Cases where a friend needs. Think about the last time you had a crisis or even wanted to tell a little wonderful news. How did your true friend react and how did the other friend respond?
How a conversation is divided During a conversation with a real friend you are about to give and take. They share some of their daily lives or life and then ask their friend or days of life, such as a game of tennis. Do you talk to your potentially untruthful friend or is it one-sided, where your friend wants to talk only about themselves and does not ask for you?
Does your friend try to solve their problems or tell you what to do to convince them to stop? A good friend is often just listening and engaging you if you have a hard day or struggle with difficult problems. If you do not ask for advice, try to overthrow your friend and tell him what to do (or what you are doing wrong), so that the conversation can be shifted back to them?
Time with your boyfriend spend Apart from long-distance friends, spend time with your friend, when it is convenient for both, or just those occasions when your friend can press on your schedule?

3. Reduce contact with insincere friends. Once you have confirmed that you do not improve certain friends and enrich your life, cut the cord. You should not go into a fight and yell and shout at the person, but you can withdraw from the relationship with grace. In some cases, the other "friend" does not even realize that you have left the relationship because they had so little invested in it! (In other words, not too concerned about his reaction.)
Stop calling your friend. Especially if you're the one who always starts calls, listen, select the phone to have a conversation with him.
Do not comment on social networking updates or messages. Do not "Unfriend" your friend, but do not follow and comment on the photos or messages.
Keep communication short and to the point. If by email or call the sincere friend for any reason, be friendly, but keep the conversation or email by topical. A simple "how are you?" It's good, but stay focused on the real job and it will not make you even more in someone else's life.

4. Maintain your usual social circles, but reduce the total interaction with the friend. Cuts not from a circle of mutual friends to get away from this person, but to walk in a social situation of people who are your true friends and levitate the sincere friend from person to person.
You can help tell your trusted friends, why not go out with that person so they can understand the reasoning behind the termination.

5. Have you prepared for what you do or say when the sincere friend will face you. In some cases, the sincere friend will wake up and realize that he is not phoning or hanging with him. If you want to dig well, you have prepared a plan or a speech when you faced and want to know why you did not call. Some of the reasons you might use are:
"I have been very busy." The universal language of "you blow away, so I'll say I'm busy" because no one is going to put their plan into question. Of course, you are too busy, you never have the root of the problem, but if you are not confrontational, this method can do the trick. Also, when this friend really interested, they would try harder, but because they are unlikely to do so, this brush-off will work soon.
"I do not feel the love." Go for the taste, if you are prepared for a small fire. If you beabsichtest to tell your friend that you feel the feeling that the relationship is not working for you, take responsibility for your feelings and multiply say, "You make me feel ..." If you have it, there is little that the other Person can do to prevent you from being wrong. If you plan to have this conversation, you should be prepared to tell the other person how you feel. Do not call or make accusations. The point of "break" with the friend is to end the relationship, not to create more drama.
The complete avoidance. Another way to deal with a potential confrontation (or not) is to completely hide from the other person. The "head in the sand" approach can be difficult, especially if you share friends in common or go to the same restaurants, bars and other retail establishments. Check internal diameter of calls Before answering the phone (if it is "friend", let it go directly to voice mail) and does not respond to emails, twitter messages or Facebook requests. Hopefully, after a few weeks your ex-boyfriend will get the hint and not pursue his friendship.

6. Go with your life. Your other friends are still there and you are a strong person to place these old, sincere, energy-saving friend aside. Do not live in it; The earlier you learn to distance yourself from dishonest people while remaining civilians, the sooner you will be better prepared to deal with such people in all walks of life. See learned this crazy experience as a lesson.