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| 3 Best Ways to Communicate Better in a Relationship |
Method 1
Make your case
1. Learn to say what you mean. We have heard the jokes about the intention of the actual dialogue - when she said "that" it really means - or "what he actually wants to say is ..." These jokes are funny because of their frequency, which is true. Sometimes we expect our partners to understand our hidden meanings, but I wish or rely on them not only or effectively. Instead, leave your thoughts straight.
When you make your case, there are concrete examples of what you want to say that your words have more meaning. Do not just say, "I believe that you have not done your part in the home ..." Instead, say, "I had every night in the last two weeks to do the dishes ..."
Speak slowly enough for your partner you understand. Never cum all your feelings of anger or he or she can not follow the logic.
Remember that there is no price to talk as long as possible. Hit all the important points that you want to meet but do not keep talking and talking until your partner is overwhelmed.
The direct disposal of your thoughts eliminates anger and confusion about your motives. Instead of getting alternatives to your buddy's plans to get you to a party, they say the truth: you just do not want to go with all these people after a hard working week, followed by "I employ, I'm sorry that I only tonight In a party atmosphere. "
2. Use the "I" or "I" instructions. Do not use an argument accusing your partner to start making a mistake. If you say "you always ..." or "you never ..." you will protect your partner in place, and it will be less likely to listen to your opinion. Instead, say something like, "I noticed that ..." or "Lately have felt like ..." to make the discussion about your feelings will make your partner feel less like s castigé it was more like it part A productive discussion.
Also said: "Recently, I felt a bit neglected" more conciliatory than "You let me down."
Although you say essentially the same thing by the statements "I", the delivery of soft-blow makes your partner less defensive and more open to communicate.
3. Keep as quiet as possible. Even if you can not be as cool as a cucumber, if you and your partner are in the midst of a lively discussion, the more soothe you are, the more you can easily express your feelings. So, if you feel angry in the middle of a conversation, or even address the virgin before the problem, take a breather until you feel calm enough to start a productive discussion.
Speak in a slow and even tone to articulate your ideas.
Do not talk to your partner. This will only make you angrier.
Take a deep breath. Do not feel hysterical in the middle of an argument.
4. Maintain positive body language. Can put a positive body language With the help of a positive tone for the discussion. Look your partner in the eye and turn your body toward him too. You can use your arms to make a move, but do not move so wild that you begin to escape. Do not cross your arms over your chest or your partner feeling that you are already closed, what he has to say.
Do not worry with the objects around you if they do not get you out of nervous energy.
5. Design your ideas with confidence. This does not mean that you should give the discussion as if you were in a business meeting. Do not go into the room, shake hands with your partner and make your case. Instead, trust in the project by acting with the situation as pleasant as possible. Smile occasionally, talks cautiously and do not hesitate to ask you too many questions or do not know what you have to say. If your partner doubts your commitment to your feelings, it will not take you so seriously.
More confident you are, the less likely you are to be frightened or tired. This will help you identify your ideas.
6. Have a plan before you start. This is an incredibly important point. Not just jump into an argument when you least expect it, and start your partner's fifteen things to say that he's done wrong. Even if you are angry or hurt for various reasons, it is important to focus on the main focus you want to do, and think about the outcome you want to achieve from the conversation; If your only goal is your partner feel bad about what he's done, then you should consider before you start.
Part of the plan is to be the time to argue. Bring a rational argument in a premature time, like a family picnic or in the middle of a great sporting event on TV, you can invalidate your whole point.
Think about what you use concrete examples, you will show. Suppose you want your partner to be a better listener. Do you have two or three times when he does not hear, and that you really hurt? Do not overwhelm with negative reviews but draw tangible clues with the attention you need.
Remember what your goal is - is to show your partner why you were hurt, create a great conflict and find a compromise that will make you happy or discuss how to deal with stress couple. Keep your goal in the back head to keep on course.
Current questions about this article
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Method 2
Listen to your partner
1. Put yourself in the position of your partner. Use the power of the imagination to fully take into account what the perspective of the partner in a particular situation might be. Be aware that there may be factors that you do not know. When he talks, putting himself in his shoes can help you understand why your behavior or practical situation can be frustrating for him. If you are angry or upset, it is hard to see beyond your argument in order to achieve this but you can help a faster resolution.
Empathy can help you to always solve a problem in your relationship. Emphasizing that you are trying to understand, and says, "I know that you must feel upset because ..." or "I know you have a hard week at work ..." your partner can cheat You "really listen.
Put yourself in the place your partners can help you to validate his emotions and let him know that you understand his fights.
2. Let your partner work through internal conflicts. While it's great to talk about all your frustration about it, sometimes your partner is still working his thoughts and feelings and wanting time to go. Give him space and time to think, he can prevent in an argument of jumping and say something he regrets online. There is a good line between encouraging conversation and pushing your partner before it is ready to talk.
With the easy to say, "I am where you need to speak," without having to make your partner feel ashamed.
3. Give it your full attention. Know the signs that your partner wants to talk about - and that is serious. If he wants to talk, you have to turn off the TV, remove your work, hide your phone and do everything to give your attention to your partner. If you are multitasking or distracted, then he or she will be even more frustrated. If you are really in the middle of something, as if you only wrap a few minutes, you are less distracted when the time is ripe.
Keep eye contact instead to look for other things that can keep your interest, can also help your partner feel that you really listen.
Let him finish, but nod and say, "I understand how you feel ..." from time to time involved.
4. Let it end. Although it may be something quite outrageous or something to say that you just feel right, do not jump and do not interrupt in the middle of the discussion. Make a mental note of a point you want to address later and let your partner say what he has to say. When he's done, just react, and then you can touch his points one after the other.
This may seem impossible if you like to jump and make an argument against, but your partner feels much better when he has all of his chest.
5. Look for the gap. If you listen to your partner, you should know that you should not accept or understand what he has to say. Regardless of the timing as you are, and how your goals are aligned, there will be times when you do not look at a situation even if you both try to express your feelings. And hopefully - note the difference between your understanding of the situation and your partner will make you more receptive to what he has to say.
Being aware of this difference will help you get less frustrated if you do not receive.
Method 3
Build a strong foundation
1. Maintain privacy. This does not mean that you put you in bed with your partner any chance you should encounter after the bouts. This means that you should be as close as possible to whether it is caressing each other to caress and laugh about anything, or just spend time on the couch and get the hand of your favorite TV shows. Save time for intimacy at least a few times a week, no matter how busy, it will help you if you have the opportunity to talk about the difficult things.
Intim is an important meaning as physical beings. This is to see in another person and try to create a space in your head for words, body language or your partner's actions.
2. Learn to recognize if your partner is angry. Of course, it would be great if your partner told you whenever important, something really worried. However, this is rarely the case. If you want to build a solid foundation for communication, you must begin to recognize nonverbal signals or verbal signals that you know your partner is angry. Know the signs of your partner and are comfortable saying, "Hey, you nasty look is something bothering you." It may not always want to talk, but let him know that you know he is angry More well maintained.
Everyone will show differently, to be silent, said he is not hungry, makes passive aggressive comments or complain about something minor, if something big is really in his head.
This does not mean that you should say "Hey, what's going on?" If your partner is not 100% satisfied - maybe he or she is tired after a long day of work. Recognize the signs when your partner is really right is different from asking him if he's all right five seconds; This could be boring.
Sometimes body language can convey more than the actual words. If you are trapped in a misunderstanding, it is important to communicate your willingness to establish.
"I'm trying to understand, but I can not get there. "No, not really." "No," he said. "Is that what you're talking about?" "They reduce. Seems very much trouble, but it could be worth it.
3. Be proactive. You do not have to fight for every little thing that bothers you, but you should be able to discuss difficult problems when the time comes. Do not be passively aggressive and let your anger boil, or you will find a battle at an unfavorable time you least expect it. Learn important questions to discuss to comfort you if you find a compromise rather than that you cook.
The two members of the relationship can offer solutions until you find one that is acceptable to both parties. A true compromise is one in which both partners feel that their thoughts and feelings are addressed while the real limitations are met: feasibility, time, cost, etc.
4. Lighten up. Find time together for fun. If you spend all your time working and fighting for your problems, you will be like your relationship is not much. If you store a lot of points in the "Fun Bank", and have a lot of feelings and positive memories with your partner, you are less likely to be exploding in the middle of an argument. Building a solid foundation of mutual love and happiness will help you through the difficult times.
Laughing together. Whether you bold jokes, they watched a comedy, or that you were not on anything, really laughter help you get more out of your relationship and prepare for hard times.
5. Know when a conversation is productive no more. If you both scream, injuries and did not go anywhere, then yes, the conversation is no longer productive. It is not necessary to continue fighting if you only make things a lot worse. Instead, take a breath, inform your partner you need to calm down and pick up the conversation at a different time when you speak something really important. This is a mature way to keep your communication out of control.
6. To jeopardize learning. In any good relationship, you should always be more important than being right. Do not waste your time trying to prove that you are right or you are struggling to get yourself, or romance angry - and quickly. Instead, work on finding a productive solution that will allow you both of you (reasonably) happy. It is much better for your long term relationship and help you communicate your true needs.
Sometimes you can not make the way when it comes to a discussion in black and white as a new place to live. But make sure that your way next time, or you are satisfied with the resolution of a conflict next time.
Alternately. A person does not always have to do his best.
Make a list of the pros and cons to help you find a solution in a logical and less heated way.
Sometimes when you make the argument, it is important to consider the person who needs it most. This can help you to understand how to assess the situation. If something is really important to you, but only a little important to your partner, let him know.
7. Do not forget to appreciate you. If you want to maintain a healthy communication flows, you and your partner should take the time to congratulate you to send you sweet notes to tell you what you love each other and time to do the things you love. A weekly evening and night so many dinner you can if you can live together, can really enjoy helping the company and get used to speak positively. This will help you make the argument when the time comes.
In any healthy relationship, you should give your partner much more positive than negative comments. Even if you feel like everyone, let us know.
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