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| How to Communicate Better in a Relationship |
Method 1
Production of suitable
1. Learn to say what you mean. We've heard the jokes about the compared to the actual dialogue - if it says "this" really means - or "what he really tries to say ..." These jokes are funny because of the frequency with which "Sometimes Hope is true that our partners understand our hidden meanings but rather want or trust that neither is fair nor effective. Instead, put your thoughts directly. [1]
If your case is to make concrete examples of what it means, its words make more sense. Not just saying, "I think you have not made your part at home ..." Instead of saying, "I had to wash the dishes for the last two weeks every night ..."
Speak slowly enough so that your partner understands. Do not just pop out all his feelings of anger or he or she will not be able to follow your logic.
Remember that there is no price to speak for as long as possible. Hits all the important points that you want to meet, but do not just keep talking and talking until your partner feels overwhelmed.
Directly place your thoughts anger and confusion about their motives makes superfluous. Instead, to offer alternatives to plans for your friend to take you to a party, tell the truth: you do not want to just put all these people after a hard working week, followed by "I'm sorry to say that I'm in the mood, not night,
2. Use statements "I" or "me". Do not accuse your partner of starting making a mistaken argument. If you say "Always ..." or "you never ...", then protect your partner's rise and less likely to hear your perspective. Instead, say something like, "I've noticed that ..." or "Lately I've been feeling ..." to focus the discussion on Make your feelings, your partner will feel less like I penalized And he is more like a part of a productive discussion.
Also, he will say, "I recently neglected something felt" sounds more conciliatory than "I have to neglect."
Although essentially he will say the same through the statements: "I," this rate of the soft blow will communicate your partner less defensively and more openly.
3. Stay calm as you can. Even if you can not be as cool as a cucumber, if you and your partner are in the midst of a fierce dispute, the calmer you are, the easier you can express your feelings. Therefore, if you feel angry in the middle of a conversation, or even pale in front of the question, make a break until you feel calm enough to start a productive discussion.
Speaking in a slow tone, also articulate their ideas.
Do not talk about your partner. This will only make you angrier.
Take a deep breath. In the middle of a discussion is not hysterical.
4. Maintain positive body language. Have positive body language help to set a positive tone for the discussion. Look your partner in the eye and turn your body to him. You can make your arms gestures, but do not move, so wild that starts out of control. Do not cross your arms over your chest or feel that is already closed, what he has to say a couple.
Do not move the objects around you, unless this helps you get some nervous energy.
5. Project Your ideas with confidence. This does not mean that you should give the discussion as if entering a business meeting. Do not enter the room, shake the hand of your partner and make your case. Instead, project confidence is as comfortable as possible with the situation. He smiles occasionally talks cautiously and do not hesitate to do too many questions, or sound unsure of what you have to say. If your partner doubts your commitment to his feelings, he will not take it so seriously.
The safer you are, the less likely you are afraid or exhausted. This will help you express your ideas.
6. Have a plan before you start. This is an incredibly important point. Do not just jump into a discussion when you least expect it, and start your partner the fifteen things that he has to tell or have done wrong. If you are annoyed or hurt by a variety of reasons, it is also important to focus on the main focus you want to do and think about the outcome you want to achieve in the conversation; If your only goal is your partner feel bad about what he or she has done, then you should have more thought.
Part of the plan should be if you have the discussion. Bring a rational argument at an unfavorable time, such as a family picnic or in the middle of a great sporting event on TV, you can nullify your entire point.
Think of the specific examples to use to make his case. Suppose you want your partner to be a better listener. Can you think of two or three times when he does not hear and hurt you really? Keep it easy with negative reviews, but use specific hints to get the care you need.
Remember what your goal is - it is your partner to show you why you have hurt to raise a major conflict and find a compromise that will make both happy, or discuss how to manage stress as a couple. Keep your goal in the back of your mind to keep you on the right track.
Method 2
Listen to your partner
1. Put yourself in your partner. Use the power of the imagination to fully visualize what perspective your partner might be in a particular situation. Note that it may not be known factors. If he or she speaks, can help put on your shoes to help understand why your behavior or the current situation may be frustrating for him. If you are angry or upset, then it is hard to see beyond your side of the argument in order to achieve this but you can help a faster resolution. [2]
Empathy can help you to always solve a problem in their relationship. I emphasize that you are trying to be understanding, saying, "I know I should be excited because ..." or "I know you've had a hard working week ..." you feel your partner That you can make, Estoy really listens.
Put yourself in your partner can help you to validate your feelings and let him know that you understand their fights.
2. Let your partner work through internal conflicts. Although it is great to talk about all your frustration, sometimes your partner is still working on his thoughts and feelings and wants some time. Giving space and time to reflect can jump a discussion to prevent and say something, he regrets, down the line. There is a fine line between conversation to promote and push your partner before you are ready to speak.
Easy to say, "I'm here when you need to talk", you can make your partner feel that you care without suffocate.
3. Give your full attention. Know the signs that your partner wants to talk about - and that is serious. If he or she wants to speak, you have to turn off the TV, save your work, hide your phone and do everything to give your partner your undivided attention. If you are multitasking or distracted, then he or she will be even more frustrated. If you're really in the middle of something, just like taking a few minutes to wrap it so that it's less distracting when the time comes.
Keep eye contact instead of finding other things that can keep your interest, even your partner can help you out as you really just listen.
Let him or her goal, but a nod or say "I understand how you feel ..." from time to time to stay ...
4. Release it. Although he may feel something quite outrageous or something you can say exactly how to correct it, do not jump in and interrupt right in the center of the discussion. Make a mental note of a point that you want to address later and let your partner say what you have to say. When you are finished, you will react to the turn, and then its points will respond in succession.
This may seem impossible when you feel you just need to jump in and then make a counterargument, but your partner will feel much better when you get everything from your chest.
5. Care gap. When you hear your partner, you should know that you have everything you have to say not to accept or understand. No matter how synchronized is how similar you are and how your goals are aligned, there will be times when you just can not see in a situation no matter how hard they both try to express your feelings. And that's fine - be aware of the gap between their understanding of the situation and your partner will make you more receptive to what he has to say.
Being aware of this discrepancy will help you get less frustrated if you do not get each other.
Method 3
Building a strong foundation
1. Maintaining privacy. This does not mean that you should jump to bed with your partner every opportunity to get a fight after a fight. It means you will be intimate as possible, whether it means cuddling, cuddling and laughing at nothing, or just spending time on the couch, holding hands and watching your favorite TV shows. Take your time for intimacy at least a few times a week, no matter how busy you are - this will help you get the time to talk about the difficult things.
Interim has an important importance to be more physical. It is to see someone else and try to create a place in your head to create your partner words, body language or actions.
2. Learn to recognize if your partner is upset. Of course, it would be great if your partner let you know if something important was really disturbing. However, this is rarely the case. If you want to build a solid foundation for communication then you need to start nonverbal or verbal signals to recognize that you know your partner is upset. Know the signs of their colleagues and feel comfortable saying. "Hey, you look annoyed, do you make some trouble?" You can not always want to talk, but let him know that you know you are angry, you will feel more care.
Each person will show this differently, quietly kept calm and said that not hungry, passive aggressive comment or complain about something less when something important is really on the heart.
This does not mean you should say "Hey, what's going on?" If your partner is 100% satisfied not to act - maybe he or she is just tired after a long day of work. Recognize the signs know if your partner is really good, is different to ask if it is all five seconds in order; This could be annoying.
Sometimes body language can convey more than the actual words. If you are trapped in a misunderstanding, it is important to communicate their willingness to establish.
"I'm trying to understand, but I'm not going to get there. Am I doing something to disturb you? "" No. "Everyone is doing something to annoy you? "No." "You're just excited?" "Yes." "With me?" "Not really." They shrink. It seems a great effort, but it can be worth it in the end.
3. Be proactive. You do not have a fight for every little thing that bothers you, but you should be able to face difficult problems when the time comes. Do not be aggressive and let your anger run down, or you're in a fight at an unfavorable time when you least expect it. Learn to ask the big questions so that you can be comforted when you find a compromise, rather than being simmering.
Both members of the relationship can offer solutions until you find one that is acceptable to both parties. A true commitment is one in which both partners feel that their thoughts and feelings are addressed while adhering to real limitations: feasibility, time, cost, etc.
4. light up. Take the time to have fun together. If you spend all your time working and then fighting for your problems, you will not enjoy much of your relationship. If you store much in your "fun bench" and has many positive memories and feelings with your partner, you are less likely to be exploding in the middle of an argument. Build a solid foundation of mutual love and happiness will help you get through the difficult times.
Laugh together. If you make calumnies, watch a comedy, or crack almost nothing, really help to laugh your relationship more and enjoy for hard times.
5. Know when a conversation is productive no more. If both scream, hurt, and not always everywhere, then yes, the conversation is no longer productive. No need to continue fighting if they only make matters worse. Instead, take a breath, inform your partner should you pick both peace and the conversation at another time when you talk about something are really important. This is a mature way to keep your communication out of control. [4]
Just say, "I think the problem is very important to both of us, but we have to get back to it when we are both quieter."
Do not get lost on doors or screaming harmful things to knock. Leave on a positive note, even if you still feel angry.
6. To jeopardize learning. In any good relationship, you should always be more important than being right. Do not spend your time trying to prove yourself, or fighting to cross the road, or your romance will fade away - and quickly. Instead, a productive solution finds work that can make both (reasonably) happy. This is much better for your long term relationship and helps you communicate your true needs. [5]
Sometimes simply you will not be able to get your way when it comes to a discussion in black and white as a new place to live. However, make sure that your way next time, or is satisfied with the resolution of a conflict next time.
Alternately. A person should not always get your way.
Make a list of the pros and cons can also help you achieve a solution in a more logical and less heating energy.
Sometimes, if you have a discussion, it is important to consider which person is more really interested. This can help you figure out how to assess the situation. If something is really important to you, but only something important to your partner, let it be known.
7. Do not forget to appreciate each other. If you want to maintain a healthy communication flow, then you and your partner will have to take the time to congratulate them, send sweet notes, told everyone what you like them, and the time to do the things you do a love weeks Date Night, and many dinners at night as you have when you live together, you can really help to enjoy the company of the other and talk to each other in a positive way. This will make it easier for you to have an argument when the time comes.
In any healthy relationship, you should give your much more positive than negative feedback partners. Even if you have the feeling of doing everything right, he should know.
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